A dream made
In only a moment of time-
I saw a tunnel light
Deep in an eye.

Tossing and tumbling
Amongst the wind
Shade came and set in.
More alone now
Than I was when I was alone.

Slouching heavy
Tears of turning back time
So I looked to hit rewind-
Fast forward is all there is to find

The tunnel in the light
Surely did die.
And maybe in these seasons passing
A real you
Will reignite.

The Well

There is a well
And imaginary well-
I am looking down there
But I cannot see the bottom,
For maybe it is a bottomless hole.

Maybe down there in that well
Is my soul.
Or was that swallowed
Long days ago by the timeless tide
Of the rocky coast I met years ago?

I stand here alone,
With no back bone.
For what now is there to fear
Of jumping down in there?
Maybe I'll find a sleep so deep
That will last forever-

There I will dance among dreams.
Nothing real
Nor surreal
There, nothing I will feel-
I am no longer real.

Heavy thick fog
Set on me-
It seems I don't know where to go.
We've all felt the fog
That sits and waits,
And you feel as though
You cannot escape.

So I thought what maybe we could make
Was a wand-
A wand that fades it way away,
Everything in clear sight
Then maybe we'd be right.

But no one will stop
They're just getting all fucked up.

Dissipated life.
Thick fog forming every night,
Soon the light
Will no longer fight.
And it will be dark-
Too dark to find the tools
To make the wand
That'll cast prefection to last.

So I dream away
And fade away...
Into the fog.
And you cannot see my face,
Or the life in my eyes
All you see are prefect white lines
That steal time
And take away the ideas of what is life.

I've been left and lost,
Still with plenty of coins to toss.
Can you look out there?
Over there to the west?
Well I've heard that is where the fog may lift.
I'm walking out of here
Out of here and to the west.

Make or break my dreams
It may,
But here I cannot die.

Thank you
For being the greatest of pretenders.

The winds picked up
And the city began to spin.
Twisting and tearing objects-
Already a mess.
There I was left,
My eyes hurt-
Devasted,
Things were already a mess.
I was part of that perfect mess.

And so I left.
Thoughts of perfection is what I took.
Here I stand-
Perfection crumbled,
And I want to walk
Deep into the forest.
There I'll twist and tear
Thoughts of perfect
I'll make it a fucking mess.
Maybe I was always the mess.

If I could become someone else
I'd be no one else.
Maybe just a fragment of thought.
Where perfect is made
Lived short
And then taken away.
But I am really happy-
Here and now.
Perfection taken away-
No one counting for
Or on me.
Lonliness is simple-
The perfect kind of mess.

You & Perfect.

The mind is a space that develops in time.
Filters
Flows
And endlessly divides,
Pieces
Places
And peoples.
Equaling out what it holds divine.

I divided you
Into tiny little pieces.
I made you-
Meaningless.
So I painted you-
Perfect.
With a minds pallet of a million colors
Mixed and matched,
I made you whole,
Perfectly Perfect
Is all I could colorfully craft.

Were you ever told-
Told the array you make?
In a minds space,
My minds space?
Forever I could endlessly divide
Tiny bites and pieces of you.
But it a moment of time-
I could only paint you,
Paint you with perfection.

We all have the ability to make someone feel very alone.
If your intentions are not pure
Of truth and of the good,
Better best to let one be
And free of feeling lonely.

Cut old ties.

Ghosts do follow us behind.
Demons have our throats.
Voids in soul-
Glitches intricately do divide
Each to our own.
Who does follow you behind?
Are they dead or alive?
Do you choose to loose you're ghosts?
Or seek the haunting that reeps behind?
I'll cut yours-
Will you take away mine?
Fill the voids,
I seek to define.
Lets fight our demons,
Together we will no longer hide.
Our souls and minds
Equally can combine,
In search for truths of given times-
With new beginnings
We shall compose,
Life lived in truth ever in search of youth!

We are part of this great big mass-
Mass of what man and scientist have forever rediscovered and uncovered.
What is it that I will discover?
Perhaps something small-
Or maybe whats inside of you.
Maybe I have already discovered
Just have yet to uncover.

And every year the buds do blossom
The snow does fall
Physical mass is buried
Souls ever drifting through the tides of what is called eternity.
My brain of thoughts and wonders
Sitting easy in duplicate
Uniquely formed skeletal mass.
So many dreams we each possess-

And so we journey
On what is wondered,
Rediscovered and newly uncovered
And I believe what matters-
Matters most.
Imagination of the possibly impossible.
Inner existence
Toyed and questioned
To uncovered the meaningful
Discovery of transcending one self
Timelessly to discover new thoughts and wonders
Rediscovered and uncovered.

Want is only a feeling.
That I can and will let pass.
The more shit you have...
The more you have to loose.
The more you have to keep track of.
The more you have to stress out about.
Simplicity in belongings allows your brain to exercise in a more healthy manner, it gives more time for imagination and intuitive thought.

TheCityThatNeverWas.

And so you changed.
For the worst of ways,
And look who you hurt along the way.

I don't know you anymore.
It is so sad you had to change
And throw it all away.

We had the world in our hands.
My palms are still filled though,
Lessons learned.

Here I go.
And I'll go alone.
I never should have counted.

Counted on you.

The end of what was.

Would you like to meet me in sorry land?
It is easy to get there, and it is quiet.
You can say you are sorry to me there.
Or are you not sorry?
If so, I am sorry for you-
Like the rest of them said they were.

You must be sorry though.
For being so selfish,
For disregarding those you are suppose to love best.
Aren't you sorry for letting me down?
Making what was come undone?

I guess you are not.
You never showed up.
Sorry land does not wait forever-
Not for you
Or me.
I suppose it is time I carry on.

I wish I could have waited,
Waited there forever
Because there is a grinding in my joints
As I walk on.
I am lonely-
I thought I meant more to you.

Would you like to meet in the land of what was?
There maybe you could see
Everything you gave up-
A journey of dreams
We timelessly weaved.
Maybe you were not ready yet.
Soon though I know
You'll be filled with regret.

Maybe it was all just pretend to you.
Dreams to occupy
This trapped time that slowly passed by.
It meant the world to me!
And so I go with what I know-
I won't be the one missing out,
And I never turned, turned on you.
For now-
What I know will have to be enough.

My bones are not broken.
My hearts still beating.
And so I'll make truth of our dreams alone.
For what it is worth
I will always love you for what was
Whether you are sorry or not.

The wind blows
And we spin,
But we barley know-
When your out,
In that vast wide land
Where poppies grow,
There-
When the wind blows...
You know ?

How we spin
Gravity pinning
Tied to the ground,
Our flesh.
But our souls
Yielding to go
Into the unknown . . . .

Walking and wandering
So I go
In views of the earth
You and I both know.
Together here now.
Spinning in the wind,
Waiting
For the right tick in time
The view in flight.

Sometimes you must let go of what was.
Carry on
And don't look back,
Remember your dreams.
Cause everyone is going to leave you.
What you've got
Is who you are
And what you want.
Stay true to that
And seek truth in your existence.
Although when you let go
Your heart may feel heavy
Remember time ticks on
Your heart beats on.
Don't look back
Memories will fade
And in time
You will live for today
And tomorrow
You will live for you.
Then and there
Truth is what you will find.

I am sure to try and grip
The little dreams
Small things between
Of the learned
Rights and Wrongs
Come on won't you sing our song?

Not too fast
And not too slow
No one wants to live this life alone.
Yet only you can chase your dreams.
So lets make dreams
Mixed and matched
You and I can't get trapped
Cause we're living amongst each others dreams
And aimlessly lost in love.
Come on won't you sing our song?

And so it goes-
We don't believe in lies
You and I got truth just right.
We've got something to live for
Truths of today
And tomorrows mysteries
Taking flight
In each corner of our eyes.
Cause what I know is not much
But its enough
Yeah you and I are gunna be alright.

My bones are holding strong.
I can taste your heartbeat
And it tastes just right.
Your not alone
Cause we've got truth and time-
Dreams intertwined
Come on won't you sing our song?

And we all got these big ideas
About living and life
You and I
Well we will keep them small
Cause we don't believe in lies
Just tiny matter
Of flesh blood and bones
Existing in time
And truth.

You've got my trust
And hopeless lust
To live simple
Not alone.
You took my dreams and I took yours
Now come on
Won't you sing our song?

I am mentally learning how to adjust to the world and how it is suppose to be through my eyes.
May 3, 2010


I am questioning who I am to find out who I am suppose to be.
February 11, 2010

We made a home,
The sort of home you call your own.
I loved it there-
People always coming and going,
It was almost perfect there.
But we had it all taken away-
My things are in boxes,
Gravities could no longer hold us down.
It was having a home
And having it taken away.
I'm scared to go back there.
The porch will never sit the same-
I'll never be the same.

We moved by the river,
Foxes for neighbors.
But there is still a weight
Resting on my bones,
I still think about that home.
A place I found to finally call my own.
I hope the memories fade away,
Fast away.
I feel sad having had it taken away.

Place to place
I've found I've gone,
But all I want
Is a home of my own
A simple life,
With a clock that ticks slow.
A place for dreams to grow,
A place to call my own.

In three months time
I'll move far to the west.
Maybe then I'll unpack the boxes
Begin to live.
I have this whole story written-
Where the mountains are higher
The sky wider
The lakes deeper
And a home to build.
A place with lots of people,
The good kind of people.
Then I'll start my life new,
Free from the fears I've found here-
Let go of lies.
Then
There I'll start to truly live my life.

Bottled in your face
The pain-
The glory-
I can always see it there.
It is what I fear my dear,
Your never really near.

Smiles hide the tears
You and I
Know
Are captured there.
Its what you fear
That was never really there.

So we come
And together we go.
Will we ever be able to let go?
Of what was near
That we thought was always there?

Our floor-
Three bodies consume.
Old wooden floors,
Noisy hinges-
Harnessing dreams
That we hope to one day own.

In a city
All mess
We strive
For what to us is unknown
Though we need it
To be our true own.
Will we make it?
Or be sucked in-
Oh the societal undertows.

I sit alone.
In the darkened cold-
Silence-
Stillness-
My thoughts solus
Drifting to places I wish to go.

Have you ever...
Felt scarred?
Cause you know
It'll be hard
To make it.
To make whatever it is you want
Your own?

We've all felt scarred.
In our thoughts
Hopes-
Tears fallen for yearnings
We strive to hold.

The apartment,
May just seem old
And cold,
But what it holds-
Three little human lives,
Painting their worlds whole
Fearing the fates and fortunes
Society folds.

I'll wish big
And dream hard.
I'll paint it all in gold-
Live simple.
Part of this all,
Its just having that dream.
Surreal
Or real,
Fighting these fears-
That is what will steer
Visionaries to come in clear.

Why?
Do we always want so badly
What we will never have?
Like stars in our pockets
Or the dreams we have at night.

Sometimes I pretend
What I want
Is all the lies
Consuming time
Of too many thoughts.
Then I lose them
As if they were never mine.

But then I fall asleep
And I fill my pockets with stars.
I am catching them there as they fall.
On my lashes
And my lips.
These will always be my secrets
Resting here in the silent night of my lonely finger tips.

Maybe tomorrow
In daylights grace
I'll empty my pockets.
And all the stars
Will grow so BRIGHT
And explode and implode
For all to uphold.

But why?
Can't I have what I want?
Maybe because
There is a hole in my pocket.
And rest comes easy at night
When you dream of what is just a might.

River Soul

The river
It was wide and windy
So we all sat afloat
And there,
That day
My dreams were wide and windy

The coulds they drifted
Over the break of trees
Where the wide winged bird did soar.

Soared like the soul-
Soul of the river
And each heart soaring afloat.

When the leaves have all fallen
The trees have stood lonely
Then you remember
There, the steeple in cold.

The gate still open
The headstones fighting frost
The road still
Alone.

Soon you know
Through the window panes
The icicles will begin to grow
And your alone
Through the winter cold.

I had a revelation.
And it was full of color,
Dust,
And dreams.
Things I've always seen
But here I stand.
Human body whole.
Able-d.
Waiting to unfold.
STOP
Waiting-
Is what this revelation told.
This is what I now know,
So truth behold...
Color, dust, and dreams
Are all you really need
To be s e e n
And find all the in betweens
That you should have always seen
When false realities where blinding your mind.
OPEN YOUR EYES.
Fight the fog.
Then
There
You'll see your dreams
Dust and color.
Fallen into all the in betweens.